He Who Shall Not Be Named

    My blog is less than two months old and I just scored my second big interview. Today I spoke with Dr. Frank N. Stien, head scientist at FOX News. I don't like to do two political blogs in a row, but how could I pass this up? So bear with me and I promise to do a lighter blog next time. Thanks.

  Dr. Frank, thanks for taking time off  from your busy schedule.

  Sure Mr. Brown, but can we make this quick. I am very busy.

  Okay, tell me what you are doing working for FOX?

  Well, I don't want to brag, but I created the Tea Party.

  Really! So you were behind all the organizing?

  No. I CREATED them, in my lab. Well, all the leaders.


  You mean they are not real people?

  Of course not! You liberals can be so dumb.

  I don't consider myself a liberal, but that isn't important. I just can't believe that all the tea party leaders aren't human.

  Mr. Brown, just look at one of my most successful creations, Michele Bachmann. You really thought she was real? My god man, look at her. She doesn't even blink!

  When you put it that way. She does look a little freakish. You must be proud of yourself.

  It took a lot of hard work. But yes I am.

  So what was your first creation?

  Ron Paul. He was a good first prototype, but my bosses at FOX News were not that impressed. But then I came up with "The Son of Ron Paul" and he was a big hit.

  So I take it you created Christine O'Donnell?

  Everybody has to bring that one up. It wasn't my fault! FOX News rushed me to complete her for the election before it was ready. 

  There were problems"

  What do you think smart guy? The worst part was that she wouldn't stop talking. Then I asked my assistant Igor to make her a switch so we could shut her mouth off. Well Igor, he doesn't hear so good. He thought I said to make her a witch.

  That explains a lot! So tell me Dr. Frank, do you work for FOX News or the Republican Party?

  One in the same Mr. Brown. 

  So who is really pulling the strings there, Karl Rove?

  Mr. Rove is just a messenger boy.

  For who?

  We call him "He who shall not be named".

  Oh, like Lord Voldemort?

  About a hundred timed scarier. 

  So tell me Dr. Frank, aren't you afraid you have made this Tea Party creation so powerful that you might lose control of it.

  Don't be silly. We are their masters. They know that.

  Are you sure? Things are looking a little out of control in the House of Representatives

  Igor! Get down there and reprogram them.

  Oh geez! One of your creations just kicked John Boehner in the nuts.

  Have to go Mr. Brown. Bye.